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It can help to rebuild trust in your relationship if you involve your significant other in this step. You can remove the other person from your contacts in front of your significant other, and allow your significant other to read and/or hear your ending dialogue with the other person. Remember, God is for you and He wants to work within you to rebuild trust. He can see beyond the present situation when you cannot.

You can make all the promises you want, but they won’t mean much unless you also make an effort to show your partner that you are working toward change. This means not only being honest but keeping your commitments.

  • A person who is unable to fully trust their judgment may act defensively to predict future emotional shock and anguish.
  • You got caught up in a flirtation that led to an affair.
  • This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy.
  • Yet, the couples who successfully do so can come back even stronger.

Don’t degrade yourself, even though you might feel really horrible. Human beings make mistakes, and if you want to be better, make the necessary changes. Make sure they know that you will make whatever changes necessary to prove that you won’t hurt them that way again and that you are committed to working it out. Take it all in, but don’t let it crumble your resolve. Chances are, during the affair, your partner was deprived of your affection. lovefort But when they let out the frustration, the anger, the tears, and the accusation, try your best to be patient. Know that this is a consequence of your actions and you simply have to take it because you betrayed them.

Practice forgiveness

Even the closest of couples have to work hard at renewing the spark while working to grow in the same direction together, year after year. While there’s independent work to do, remember to listen completely to one another.

Yet, a person who gains awareness of her unconscious defense mechanisms may be able to deal with the situation in a new way. Consciously adopting a different coping strategy may help. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. Your partner may need space and time before they can discuss what happened. But they also might need days or weeks before they can address the issue with you. No matter your reasons, you know you caused them pain, and you feel terrible.

How to rebuild trust in a relationship

As I listened to her share of her life’s greatest disappointment, she started wiping tears from her eyes…asking Why, Why? It was obvious and quite understandable she felt utterly devastated. And the reason she was in my office she said, “I just don’t know whether or not because of Lanny’s infidelity and lies, I don’t know if we can ever put the pieces back together again.

What Does Marriage Counseling Look Like?

It’s easy to become annoyed or frustrated that they won’t just simply accept your apologies and move on, but would you be able to do that if the tables were turned? They can’t look you in the eye because of the storm of emotions going on inside of them. They’re worried that their eyes will give them away and you’ll understand that they’re struggling with trust. It’s very normal for a person to have lingering trust issues after a betrayal, which can flare up even after you think the issue has been overcome. Instead of practicing rigorous honesty, some partners will tell partial truths or engage in other forms of lying.

Do not withhold trust in this new relationship, even though it is with the same person. Be honest and work to understand and state why the bad behavior occurred. Statements such as “I don’t know” don’t instill confidence or help you get to the root of the issue. Make a conscious decision to love by trying to let go of the past. While achieving this goal fully may take some time, committing to it is what’s key. Even minor breaches of trust can lead to mental, emotional, and physical health problems.